I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
