The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
