Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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