did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
