Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
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