He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I understand Curling. That high.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
