shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
