normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
