Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
