I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Operation Purity has been aborted
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
