i barfeds in our rink
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
