Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
