We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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