hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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