Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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