idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
