brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
