if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
