I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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