Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
