I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
