she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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