Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
