He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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