she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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