there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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