Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
