I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
