So drunk its hurt
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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