Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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