my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize