I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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