if you like me you must not know who I am
I love black thongs
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
