marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Duck Duck Cougar?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
