i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
