'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
