That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
