Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Naked. naked and bneed help.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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