does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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