I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
