How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
