I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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