I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
