I wish I could teleport
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
