i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
