They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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