And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize