I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
