yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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