i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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