Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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