So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
