Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
