I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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