Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she smelled like a LAN party
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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