Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the day after is always just damage control
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
be right there i have to get my cape
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize