i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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