My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize