angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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