Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize