I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
