Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize