How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
