I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
