am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
