So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
