i can't believe i had my finger in that
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
