How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
