My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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