break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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