I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
