Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
