He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He passed out mid-signature
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize