I don't think brook has ever known best
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
