so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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