elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
