he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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