id be glad to
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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