id be glad to
You can't motorboat a personality
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
