yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
