ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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