My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
