yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
