Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
