Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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