Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
