Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize