eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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