these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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