Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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