Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
