We're facebook friends in real life
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
