Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
